If history is a feast, I became the Mr Creosote (Monty Python) of history, and couldn’t manage another ‘wafer thin’ temple by the time we left………. The history outside Oz felt like a beautiful warm bath of old things when we first arrived back in Europe and we revelled in it, visiting churches, castles, pyramids, temples etc. We couldn’t get enough….until we learned we could.

We had a couple of things on our to do list when we got back to Amman: Jerash, a huge a well preserved Roman town an hour north of Amman; a trip to Madaba, a interesting town to the south of Amman; a float in the Dead Sea; Umm Qays, an old Ottoman & Roman town near the border of Israel and Syria; the Citadel in Amman and the National Museum in Amman, home of some of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The upside is that they are all worth visiting and are fascinating in their own right. The museum is particularly good; well laid out, modern and interactive enough to keep two very restless adults engaged.

Whilst the ruins of Umm Qays are interesting, especially their perhaps unique use of black rock, our enjoyment mostly came from gathering trip there and back. The route goes through greener areas, massive valleys, old towns eventually very close to the edge of Jordan. As we stood in Umm Qays overlooking the Golan Heights, we were close enough to the border of Syria to hear the rumble of artillery ruining peoples day not too far in this distance.

Because of this, if you venture up to Umm Qays, you will find yourself having the place pretty much to yourselves which is lovely, and if you return via the very attractive road that hugs the border with Israel, will need to pass through a couple of meaty military checkpoints. Don’t be put off, it’s worth the trip.

The Dead Sea is the most expensive swim in the world. There are a couple of choices to experience the strange sensation of floating. The first is to go to a public beach where you only have to pay for the overpriced parking and will get to swim off a reasonably unattractive beach with no showers. The water is very odd, being both slimy and itchy, so not having a shower is a brave choice. You could of course take a couple of bottles of water along and see how that goes.

The other option is to go to a beach hotel and pay to use their facilities. They offer a day pass which also includes lunch. We went to the Movenpick and negotiated a cut price that didn’t include lunch but still cost JD30 each (about AU$120 all up). The way we did it meant that we really were just going for a 30 min dip, so it is eye wateringly expensive. If we were to do it again, we would probably drop a day there, enjoying the pool and lunch to get better VFM (though there was so many flies around, this may be a challenge in itself)..

Back in Amman, our major discovery was the Chestnut Restaurant and Bar……… it has happy ‘hour’ from 12-6pm during which time booze is an acceptable price. Hurrah. Needless to say, we started out 36 hour trip to Colombia just a little worse for wear.

Jordan is a welcoming, varied, easy and interesting place to visit. We would go back again and would recommend a week or so to anyone interested in something a little different.

Back in Amman, our major discovery was the Chestnut Restaurant and Bar……… it has happy ‘hour’ from 12-6pm during which time booze is an acceptable price. Hurrah. Needless to say, we started out 36 hour trip to Colombia just a little worse for wear.

Jordan is a welcoming, varied, easy and interesting place to visit. We would go back again and would recommend a week or so to anyone interested in something a little different.

The thing that makes deserts deserts, or at least as I understand it, is the lack of rain. My practical experience of this rather undermines this assumption. In 2004 we went to the Gobi Desert as a 6 year drought broke on the night we slept there without shelter. In 2003 we went to Uluru as a 6 month drought broke. There have been numerous other trips where we should have been in blazing sunshine when the phrase of the day was ‘wouldn’t this be beautiful if it wasn’t raining’.

We shouldn’t have been too surprised that we found ourselves in the stunning Wadi Rum, in Jordan’s south, in the first rain they had experienced in a long time. Sitting on a rocky outcrop overlooking the desert, sipping G&T is slightly less romantic when you have water dripping from the hood of your Goretex.

We did get a wonderful light show that evening as lightning lit up the horizon. We learned later that this light show, and the heavy rain it telegraphed, led to flash floods at a spot we are due to visit in a few days, taking 21 lives. Nature is unforgiving at times, and life is unpredictable.

We stayed in the wadi for 2 nights in a faux Bedouin camp. There are a number of them around the wadi, but spaced out enough to not see the others. They aren’t posh, but aren’t living it rough either. There are showers that have hot water a couple of times a day, a few hours of electric light and great local food served up in a comfortable communal tent. The beds leave a little to be desired and the pillows seem to be full of some rubbery stuff that I hope was rubbery stuff.

The biggest challenge is the shared bathroom thing. I am nearly 50 and whilst I feel like I’m in my mid twenties in most environments, I can be a bit of an old fuddy when it comes to shared bathrooms. I can handle other people’s pubic hair in the shower or the toothpaste smeg in the sink. I can even handle the bins full of used loo paper as you can’t flush it down the loo. It’s the reasonably public pooing I find challenging. This unisex bathroom had stalls, without floor to ceiling walls or doors, so what ever you do can be heard by all. And I don’t even mind hearing other people’s movements. They can even be a bit amusing causing me to resist the urge to comment (‘Wow, that must have hurt’, or ‘Jesus, what did you eat last night?!’). The problem I have is my movements. If I walk into one of these places and before me is somebody cleaning their teeth, I find it very, very difficult to do what I need to do. If that person is an attractive women, the stage fright is such I seal up like a safe door, in a way that suggests I sometimes see myself as an attractive, single 25 year old male that is of interest to an attractive young women, who is probably thinking ‘I need to get the fuck out of here before that old bloke turns this place into a radioactive no-go zone’. It gets physically uncomfortable after a day or so.

When I wasn’t dealing with poo issues, we explored the wadi, in a 4x4 and on camels. The first gets you to places quickly if rather bumpedly. We got to see pictures of camels drawn by the ancient merchants that came that way, I drank warm camel milk, warm because it had just been removed from mummy camel, we saw a house the TE Lawrence allegedly lived and lots of incredible panoramas.

The camel ride is rather slower than a 4x4, involves far more flatulence but also involves sitting on a beautifully majestic creatures that nearly always look cool, calm and collected. I say nearly always as I now know what it’s like to be on a camel that gets spooked by something and freaks out. I stayed on, but it was very, very close.

We returned from the wadi via a night in the Dana Nature Reserve which is a lush valley running from the mountains to the desert. The reason to go there is to explore the reserve and we planned to do this on horseback. Unfortunately our expectations of a horse ride was different from the reality as rather than being guided by a guide also on horseback, we were to be led on a rope by two lads on foot. This would have felt like a rather extravagant donkey ride and would have been an expensive way of seeing no more of the valley than we could do on foot, so pulled the plug on it. By this time it was too late to get a guide to take us into the valley on foot so we had to settle for the hardship of watching the light fade, then a glorious sunset over the valley whilst sipping G&T. It’s a tough life.

The following day we returned to Amman, via Kanark Castle (closed on a Monday…….. the FTs planning is great) then a route much longer than expected due to the road along the Dead Sea being closed (they were still trying to recover bodies and open bridges that had been damaged by the floods). The scenery is a rather stunning mix of hills, desert and the odd patch of green so in no way a chore.

Some blogs and guidebooks describe Petra as a tourist hell. They are talking bollocks. I’m not sure if it is because we had come from Egypt but from a hassle factor on a scale of one to ten, ten being Giza and one being lying in your own bath, drinking wine, we give it a 5.

Petra is about 2.5 hours south of Amman and the drive took us, in our hired faux-by-four, through rather uninteresting desert until we were about 20km away when strange rock formations appear.

The ancient town of Petra is in the bottom of a steep valley, below the town of Wadi Musa that services it and exists purely to milk the tourist cash cow. That said, our hotel was nice enough for the price (the water being off for a while one night…..and having to change rooms after being woken up by an aircon unit that made repeated load bangs and wouldn’t switch off notwithstanding) and had a restaurant that served really good tasty, fresh food at prices that didn’t include a ‘skin tax’ (a lovely phrase the owner used to describe the common mark up tourists are charged).

We had three ventures into Petra and I would recommend all three. The first took us in at night where the route in is lit by candles and you end up sitting in front of the famous treasury building (think Raiders of The Lost Ark), listening to Bedouin music. Top tip: turn up before the opening time of 8.30pm when it is supposed to open and you may find they let you through so you get to walk down the amazing high sided, narrow gorge with few others around. Settle in, grit your teeth through the bit where loads of people turn up, use flashes, talk loudly, do 100 insta poses and generally screw up the tranquility, then leave after a couple tunes so you can have a peaceful walk back. Essentially, avoid the people cos the people can be annoying.

The event is run by the local Bedouin and they know people are stupid so they organise it pretty well, ushering them away from the narrow end of the gorge where everyone stops to take a photo, oblivious to the hundreds of people behind, or saying forcefully ‘shush!’ to those whose deem their conversation to be far more important than the experience. They herd cats well, even the stupid cats.

The following day we entered Petra as it opened at 6 (on the dot this time, not a minute early or late). The beginning of the walk was still in the grey pre-dawn light but by the time we got to the start of the gorge it was getting light and we enjoyed a lovely quiet walk to the treasury. We got there with a couple of other couples and besides them and few camels with their drivers, had the place to ourselves.

Petra is huge. It’s not just the famous Treasury building, it’s an old city that was home to up to 20,000 people, with temples, tombs and an amphitheater. Deciding what you do and don’t do is the challenge. On that day, we decided to walk to the High Temple of Sacrifice, perched on a rocky hill above the city. The moderately difficult walk is worthwhile as you get to sit with goats and donkeys high above the city and watch it get busier.

The route down is lovely because of it’s quietness and the incredible rock formations that are so colourful it looks like they have been painted. You also get to see some old structures few bother to find. We covered about 15km on foot and a significant amount of elevation that day but it was hugely enjoyable.

On the last day we decided to go to the Monastery building using the back route. This route is not easy to get to and a tiny percentage of visitors try. The website is pretty keen that you take a guide on this route but after reading a few blogs about it, decided to give it a go without one (saving $200).

Our first start involved us parking the car at the side of the road, hopping out and following the route of a previous walker recorded on the Wikiloc app. After about 1km we felt that our car could probably manage the first leg, which is basically open desert for about 2.5km. Whilst it was ok in the morning, we reasoned that on the return, in the midday heat, after a 4 hour hilly walk, that exposed leg would be less than fun and certain people in our party may get a little tetchy. A passing local in a Hilux confirmed this idea would work and drove me back to our faux-by-four whilst Jodie amused herself alone in the desert. When he saw the car up close, my new friend was less sure about by our chances of success, wished me luck and sped off. The good news is I got back to J and we managed to get about another km further on before deciding the sand ahead looked a bit soft, abandoning the car and continuing on foot.

The route itself was mostly easy to follow, a little steep in places and only once did I worry about the safety of the path. The trade off was heart stoppingly beautiful views, some lovely moments with just the two of us in sight and a feeling of accomplishment when the Monastery came into view.

On the way back we stopped for a cup of mint tea at a stall half way along the route, at the highest point on the route and run by an old lady. She had passed us on her donkey on the way up in the morning and we remarked how well she treated the donk, getting off and walking for the steep bits. We were very happy to part with 2JD for 2 teas served up in well used ‘one use’ paper cups as we looked out all the way to Israel.

By the time we got back to the car, it was 32c, there was no wind, I could smell myself and we were very, very happy to have got the car that 2km closer.

We had a bit of time to spare, so went along to Little Petra, which is what is says on the tin. It is very little indeed but as it’s not on most people’s tour it was pretty much deserted and consequently very peaceful.

Now here is a thing that only spoilt bastards need to consider. Do you go to Petra before or after visiting Egypt? Going before means that you realise that the hassle is very minor and the site is well organised. Going after means, well, it means that you look at the amazing temples and buildings and think, ‘these are ok, but the Egyptians were doing way better 2,000 years earlier’. Having said that, the geology and setting is rather special and I think it is the combination of the ruins and the setting that make Petra one of the Seven New Wonders.

On the last day we decided to go to the Monastery building using the back route. This route is not easy to get to and a tiny percentage of visitors try. The website is pretty keen that you take a guide on this route but after reading a few blogs about it, decided to give it a go without one (saving $200).

Our first start involved us parking the car at the side of the road, hopping out and following the route of a previous walker recorded on the Wikiloc app. After about 1km we felt that our car could probably manage the first leg, which is basically open desert for about 2.5km. Whilst it was ok in the morning, we reasoned that on the return, in the midday heat, after a 4 hour hilly walk, that exposed leg would be less than fun and certain people in our party may get a little tetchy. A passing local in a Hilux confirmed this idea would work and drove me back to our faux-by-four whilst Jodie amused herself alone in the desert. When he saw the car up close, my new friend was less sure about by our chances of success, wished me luck and sped off. The good news is I got back to J and we managed to get about another km further on before deciding the sand ahead looked a bit soft, abandoning the car and continuing on foot.

The route itself was mostly easy to follow, a little steep in places and only once did I worry about the safety of the path. The trade off was heart stoppingly beautiful views, some lovely moments with just the two of us in sight and a feeling of accomplishment when the Monastery came into view.

On the way back we stopped for a cup of mint tea at a stall half way along the route, at the highest point on the route and run by an old lady. She had passed us on her donkey on the way up in the morning and we remarked how well she treated the donk, getting off and walking for the steep bits. We were very happy to part with 2JD for 2 teas served up in well used ‘one use’ paper cups as we looked out all the way to Israel.

By the time we got back to the car, it was 32c, there was no wind, I could smell myself and we were very, very happy to have got the car that 2km closer.

We had a bit of time to spare, so went along to Little Petra, which is what is says on the tin. It is very little indeed but as it’s not on most people’s tour it was pretty much deserted and consequently very peaceful.

Now here is a thing that only spoilt bastards need to consider. Do you go to Petra before or after visiting Egypt? Going before means that you realise that the hassle is very minor and the site is well organised. Going after means, well, it means that you look at the amazing temples and buildings and think, ‘these are ok, but the Egyptians were doing way better 2,000 years earlier’. Having said that, the geology and setting is rather special and I think it is the combination of the ruins and the setting that make Petra one of the Seven New Wonders.

Someone in Cairo suggested that Amman was a bit bland, but I guess compared to Cairo, everywhere is a little bland. It probably is, in the same way that life would seem bland if you had spent a couple of years sharing a cell with Mr Big and he insisted you were Mummy in the nightly game of Mummies and Daddies. A bit bland can be good.

Perhaps what he meant by bland is that the roads mostly work in the way you would expect them (people stay in lanes, use headlights at night, stop at roundabouts etc…….. mostly), the shops work like shops (you buy something that isn’t horribly inflated due to your foreignness so that you end up paying for a bottle of water the same a local would pay for a comfortable flat overlooking the Nile), and whilst Amman’s streets are no stranger to rubbish, they are a world away from Cairo’s levels of the stuff.

.We liked it immediately and it grew on us even more when we went to the suburb of Al Rjoum for an art tour that we’d found on Airbnb. From an art perspective, the tour was interesting, visiting 4 galleries in places that you wouldn’t stumble upon, displaying a mix of established and new local artists. The best bit was a guided wander through a quiet, old, low rise suburb that made us think ‘We could live here’. We were completely relaxed and felt slightly heady as it was so far away from the Cairo experience

That evening we had another Airbnb experience that made us feel at home: a wine tasting. Again, the experience wasn’t great as it was basically going to a wine bar, picking three wines from a wine menu and drinking them. No explanation. No notes. Just wine. It was also relatively inexpensive for Jordan.

The wines were from a vineyard called Jordan River and we liked them all. Later someone explained to us that this was more to do with the length of time we had been drinking Egyptian wine, rather than it being a true reflection of quality. Then again, the FTs ain’t that fussy.