So what does going from +30c to -37c in a short place of time do to a body? Our considered research suggests it fucks it….
On our return to Vancouver, initially all was well. Laura and Paco had travelled up from San Antonio for a couple of days to meet us and we had a lovely couple of nights with them doing what we do best; drinking and talking bollocks in bars. We really are very good at it.
Fun and Games with L & P
We also visited the Vancouver Aquarium, which for an animal prison is pretty good. It does a lot of good work on conservation and is a really good at subtle, or not so subtle education, about looking after our planet a little bit better. They also have sea otters, which are the cutest most wonderful creatures in the world. Or at least they would be if they weren’t completely evil bastards masked in a nice public persona. Think Jimmy Savile…………. but without the tracksuit…….. and gold chains……….. and mullet……….and all the other things that in retrospect shouted ‘SEX OFFENDER!!!’. I won’t go into detail, but Google Sea Otters, sex, baby seals and all will become clear (dirty little fuckers). Maybe they should wear tracksuits. If you don’t know the UK too well, you may want to google Jimmy Savile too, but probably not at work.
A Sea Otter practicing evil stuff
We also enjoyed a wonderful cultural experience with Larry and Sandra going to the ice hockey. It’s not ice hockey in Canada, just hockey (I assume the other is called ‘running around a field hockey’). It’s a big deal. We went to see the Canucks vs the Anaheim Ducks from California (who knew), and whilst the Canucks haven’t had a great season, the other team were worse so expectations were high.
It’s a fast game and to be it just looked like a bit of a fast moving wrestling match until they started fighting, when it slowed down a little. There are lots of things going on, like loud sirens when the home team score, sharks playing drums, sharks firing tee shirts into the crowd and music being played on a very old organ every time there is a break in play. Great fun, and the Canucks won (thankfully…. Imagine if they lost to a team that comes from a state that lacks ice).
Fight! Fight! Fight!
After all this fun and games, my body first got a headache, then just said ‘Fuck you!’ And I spent the next couple days in bed, shivering, shaking, coughing and being miserable. On this journey, Canada turns out to be one of the better places to get sick due to the easy access to drugs and comfort food, like mountains of chocolate and shepherds pie with baked beans. The same situation in Cuba would have been truly horrible (having only rum and detergent to perk me up), but at least I would have been as miserable as the majority of the locals.
Out and About
J then got a version of the same, but obviously less bad, and we kind of wrote off a few days. We did recover for the grand finale of the Vancouver Food and Wine Festival though, an amazing event which L&S had very kindly bought us tickets. It was the FTs perfect environment; great food, plentiful good wine and in the stunning location of the Convention centre, over looking the harbour. So, with about 500 of Vancouver’s similarly disposed inhabitants we had a great party, which culminated in Sandra leading a massive conga line around the dance floor (this is a Sandra’s superpower and the last time I saw it in action was probably the only time in its long and esteemed history that the restaurant in London’s Ritz has seen one). Great fun.
The middle aged and middle class behaving badly.......